Ramblings of a Random Stone

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Thinking outside of the box (brain)

What 3 things that you regularly eat can you never eat for breakfast?

What do you call a person who does not have all his fingers on one hand?

3 switches outside a windowless room are connected to 3 light bulbs inside the room. How can you work out which switch is connected to which bulb if you may enter the room only once?

The day before yesterday, Brain was 15 years old. Next year, he’ll be18 years old. How is this possible?

What is the first thing you put on when you get up?

Can you jump as high as a house?

Which has more ears, one cat or no cat?

(as asked at the Youth Club Soul Purpose recently)

Answers please in the comment spots and I will check, promis ;-)

Friday, September 08, 2006

Mathematicians calculate differently to Engineers

At a mundane ergonomics lecture, towards the back of the auditorium, the following discussion was recently overheard:

Engineer (E) to Mathematician (M):
(E) Let me ask you any question, and if you can't answer it you will give me $10. Ask me any question, and if I can't answer it I will give you $10.

The Mathematician tried to ignore the Engineer who persisted and bugged him with this question, that in the end he relented, especially as the offer from the Engineer had risen to $100 for an unanswered question by the Engineer.

(E): Ok, what is the maximum distance between the sun and the moon ?

The Mathematician withdrew, checked on his laptop various formulaes, cruised the internet and even searched through google, but had to relinquish $10 to the Engineer.
So it was now the Mathematician's go to ask a question.

(M) What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?

The Engineer now was a bit baffled, but did not give up so easily and he too searched through the internet but could not come up with any solution. So he had to relinquish $100 to the mathematician. But of course he was not going to be left in the dark, and asked the mathematician:

(E) Well, what is the answer ?

The mathematician just shrugged his shoulders, gave the engineer $10 and left the lecture.

Monday, September 04, 2006

Things you always wanted to know, but were afraid to ask (Part 1)

Coca-Cola was originally green.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men !

You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.



It is impossible to lick your elbow.

People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
Spades - King David Clubs - Alexander the Great Hearts – Charlemagne Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Answer: - All invented by women.

Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this? Answer: - Honey

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All polar bears are left handed.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Relativity in the new 21st Century

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be:
57 Asians 21 Europeans 8 Africans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south

52 would be female 70 would be non-white
48 would be male 30 would be white

70 would be non-Christian 30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual 11 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and ALL 6 would be from the United States.

80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer (and not necessarily with a college education)

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Why oh Why

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does hebecome disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Hollandcalled Holes?
3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?
4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your twocents in . . . what happens to the other penny?
8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale breadto begin with?
10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person whodrives a race car not called a racist?
12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that: electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
19. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me they're cramming for their final exam.
21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what Chinese mothers used, tooth picks?
22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
25. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
27. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
28. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

A Brainteaser

There are 3 lights upstairs, and three light switches, downstairs with you.
You can go up the stairs one time, and can NOT come back down the stairs.
How do you find which switch goes with which light?
(You cannot see the lights from downstairs).

Answers in the comment box please, or per email.

And they said French was Hard???

Some reasons why the English Language is hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Life begins at ...

if you come from the HitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy you would say 42